I ask for grace and understanding from my regular readers as I make a change of format this week on my humble blog. An opportunity has been brought to my attention that I think many of you would want to know about. I plan on returning to our regular devotional posts next week. Now, here’s the first blog interview I conducted.
An Interview with Mary DeMuth about NOT MARKED
Sexual abuse victims come in all shapes, sizes, ages and from both sexes. The inner trauma can leave an incredible mark on the souls of the lives of the victims as well those closest to them.
Sadly, the Christian community has remained too silent on this issue. We tend to sweep it under the rug and pretend it hasn’t happened. The result: families are less than they should be because the victims feel like outcasts. We’d rather pretend our stained-glass purity is above such real-life pain.
I’ve come across a sister-in-Christ who is taking a stand and making a difference on this atrocity. Mary DeMuth, along with her husband Patrick, have written a book that deals head-on with this topic from a victim’s viewpoint. They need our help to bring this project to completion.
The book is titled: NOT MARKED Finding hope and healing after sexual abuse. Click on the book title in this interview to help financially support the DeMuth’s in their efforts to make this resource a reality.
What’s the significance of the title NOT MARKED?
I always felt I had this indelible mark on me after the initial year of sexual abuse when I was five. Other predators seemed to see that mark and tried to steal from me again. Thankfully, I learned how to run away. But now I’ve experienced significant healing. So much so, that I no longer feel marked. It is possible. I’m proof (as are many others).
I can only imagine how emotionally intense it was for you to write such a personal book. Were you surprised by how much you had to work through with this trauma to get this book written?
Yes, I was. It’s been 41 years since the sexual abuse. I figured I’d sit down and write the book and be done with it. But as I wrote it, my husband started noticing my downward emotional spiral. That’s when we set a deadline of one week to write the book. I just couldn’t revisit the book for weeks and weeks.
I noticed you got your husband, Patrick, to add his insights at the end of each chapter. I’m sure he’s been a tremendous gift from God to you through the years. Why did you include this and how involved was he in writing this book?
Sexual abuse hurts more than just the victim. My husband suffered for what those boys stole from me. It wasn’t fair—both to me and to him. We have had to have some very frank discussions about uncomfortable things. Initially when we were first married, I could not bring those things up. Eventually I did, and we began to heal together.
He responded to each chapter with a few paragraphs, sharing the perspective of a survivor’s friend or spouse. I know there are many people out there who love a sexual abuse victim but don’t know how to love and support them through the healing. Having Patrick’s voice will help those folks know they’re not alone.
As a multi-published author why are you doing this fund-raiser to self-publish this book? Please explain briefly how Indiegogo works.
My traditional publishers didn’t want to publish the book. It’s pretty risky when you write about sex and sexual abuse with a Christian worldview. But I knew this book needed to be in the hands of those who have suffered twice—once for the abuse, then twice for how that abuse affects you the rest of your life. So I decided to self-publish it with the help of Indiegogo. Indiegogo is a crowdfunding site that helps creatives fund their projects. It’s like having a patron of the arts, except that the patron is not one rich person, but many average folks who are passionate about your project.
You sure are putting 2 Corinthians 1:4 to use here: “so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” Is that your ultimate motivation with this project?
Absolutely. I’m grateful, grateful, grateful that God has chosen broken me and healed so much of my brokenness. I tell my story to offer hope—that you are not alone, and that healing is possible.
Thank you, Mary, for your time to inform us about this tremendous opportunity to have a part in getting the word out about this important subject.
Now, if your heart is as broken as mine is about this catastrophe go over and support the DeMuth’s as the Lord leads to make NOT MARKED the best it can be.
Thank you in advance to my loyal readers.
PS As I was putting this post together I found out this project has received enough funding to make it a reality. Now, they’re planning on using additional money raised to make an audio book, as well as other possibilities as funding permits. There’s still great opportunities for each of us to be able to get the ebook and/or print book at a discount by getting involved in this effort. You can also have the DeMuth’s come to your church to talk on this important topic.
Thanks, again, for praying about this.
I’ll see you later. Wade